Freak on a Leash

Pairing: Jayne Cobb/Simon Tam
Category: Humor, first time, smut
Rating: R
Summary: Jayne on the prowl.
Notes: Translations: The few Chinese words/terms are translated at the end of the story, or just hover the mouse over it and the translation should pop up.
Thanks to: Thanks to Nicci for tagging along even though she isn't in the fandom. To Lady Ivy o'LJ-land for the beta ^_^ -- couldn't have done this without either of you and everyone else on LJ who felt I needed yet another fandom LOL

The sun shone down from a bright, blue sky and all was right with Jayne's world. Mal had taken Zoe and Kaylee with him into town to pick up their assignment, so the ship was quiet where she sat. Wash couldn't have found them a better place to land. There was a lake, weather was warm, and no one was taking potshots at them.

Jayne sighed contentedly and pulled his cap a little further down to shield his closed eyes from the sun. The heat from the sun washed over him and he was glad he'd left the t-shirt in his quarters and gone for the tank top. Shifting a little against the empty crate he was sitting back against, he smiled to himself.

Mighty fine day.

"You look too pleased."

"Unsettles ya, huh, Wash?" Jayne asked without opening his eyes. The ship's pilot was lounging nearby, soaking up the sun as well.

"Actually, yeah it does," Wash replied, though his voice sounded as sleepy as Jayne felt.

"Too damned bad," Jayne snorted. "Too damned bad." He frowned, sounded like their quiet was about to be broken.

"Has any of you seen River?"

Jayne rolled his closed eyes. Same old story. "Put 'er on a leash, then. Would make it a hell of a lot easier."

The sound of shoes against the ground stopped and a shadow fell over Jayne. "One could say the same about you."

Close by, Wash sniggered. "Doc's got a point there, Jayne."

Jayne pushed his cap up, turned his head and opened his eyes. Glaring meanly at Wash, he tried to relay his annoyance, without too much success. The good doctor might seem like a kid at times, but he was keeping up with Jayne's sarcasm and pranks a lot better than Jayne had expected.

Not bad. Jayne turned his eyes on Simon. Nope, not bad at all. Before he could open his mouth and give the kid another round, there was a rustle off to their right. Turning, they found River skipping around the side of the ship.

Jayne watched in silent amusement as Simon's shoulders sagged with relief. The kid was tighter strung than Mal in an Alliance friendly bar on U-day. Jayne mused on one or two ways of relieving that tension, but he'd get in trouble with the captain if he scared off the kid. Typical for Mal to find a soft spot for a couple of strays.

Catching River's eyes, Jayne frowned. She looked a little startled as she watched him.

"You shouldn't think such things when I'm around," she told him with a serious look.

'Huh?' Jayne wondered what the girl was babbling about now.

"It's really rather disturbing," she told him, taking a deep breath, then turning to her brother, who was watching them with a puzzled look.


Her eyes narrowed as she watched Simon. "It would be fascinating if it wasn't for the fact that you're my brother. There are things even I don't want to know." Her frown turned to a quick grin as she turned around, her dress flying wildly as she skipped up the ramp, her military boots clanging against the metal, making a lot of noise for a young girl.

"That was... unsettling," Wash mumbled as he kept looking after River, who had disappeared into the ship.

"I know. Most days I have no idea what she is talking about," Simon said, looking a tad bit too flustered for Jayne not to notice.

Another little piece of the puzzle.

"Yeah, that too," Wash agreed. "But I was talking about the idea of Jayne thinking."

Jayne turned his attention back to the pilot, who was lounging in the sun -- like a big lizard... "Don't you have to go polish your dinos or somethin'? Maybe rewire a thing or two?" he growled.

"Nope, dinos are nappin' and I leave the rewiring to Kaylee." Wash grinned and leaned back with his eyes closed.

Simon shook his head and turned to walk up the ramp. Jayne felt a small smile curving his own lips. Kid sure had a nice ass, nice long legs, nice... well, everything. Load of trouble he and his sister, but Jayne was beginning to enjoy the extremes the Doc would go to, to get back at him for the pranks he occasionally pulled.

Most people would take doping and mouthing off as rude, but to Jayne it was like a sweet hummin' through his body.

"Damn, but you're transparent, Jayne," Wash muttered.

"Huh?" Jayne didn't turn around to look at Wash. He kept his eyes on that damned enticing ass until Simon disappeared into the darkness of the ship's cargo area.

"You might want to stop droolin' like that... someone might slip in a puddle," Wash chuckled.

"Shut up," Jayne snorted, trying not to laugh. "You have your wife, you dumb-ass. I can drool all I want." And he wanted, but again, Mal would neuter him if he screwed up the crew. Literally or not. The crew was too important for a quick ruttin'. He could just hear Mal: "Crew dynamics are sensitive, keep yer dick in yer pants, Jayne."

There were better places Jayne would rather keep it, but unless Simon showed an interest, that wasn't going to fly.

"Keep out of trouble," Wash muttered as Jayne got up, turning toward the ship.

"Dahng rahn," Jayne muttered as he casually walked up the ramp.

Serenity was quiet inside, apart from the sound of his boots on the metal stairs. Jayne wasn't entirely sure what he was going to do when he got the infirmary, where he knew he'd find the Doc. Guy was a gorram workaholic.

"All work, no play, makes Simon a dull boy," Jayne muttered to himself as he neared the windows of the infirmary. Heh, as he'd expected, Simon was fiddling with stuff again. He'd noticed it the last time he'd come down here to annoy the kid. When there was nothing at hand, Simon tended to move things around in the small space of the infirmary.

No wonder Jayne hadn't been able to find the damned surgical tape.

Leaning against the open door, Jayne waited for Simon to notice him. His grin grew a little wider when he realized that Simon was so deep in thought that he wouldn't notice him anytime soon.

"Knock, knock," Jayne said, smirking when Simon jumped and dropped the book he was holding.

"Go-se!" Simon shot him an angry look. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm crew on this ship, Doc..." Jayne said, raising an eyebrow and for once not hiding the fact that he was looking Simon up and down, in the most appreciative way he could.

Simon seemed to do a double take, then shook his head. "Look, Jayne. I don't want to jump feet first into another of your pranks, so cut it out."

Jayne grinned a little wider. "'s not a prank, kid. Why do you think I'm here?"

Simon eyed him nervously. "Do I want to know?"

Jayne pushed away from the door, walking slowly toward Simon. "Depends on what you like," he said quietly.

Simon backed up until his back was against the counter lining the wall.

Jayne put a hand on either side of Simon, crowding him. Breathing in, he caught the faint scent of soap and sweat. He watched Simon lick his lips nervously, and forced his eyes away from the enticing sight.

Simon's eyes were a little wider than usual, and Jayne realized that the man was trembling. "You're not afraid of me, are ye?" he asked, puzzled.

"You're not exactly... predictable," Simon said, swallowing hard.

"I wouldn't hurt ya," Jayne mumbled. "You're crew... Mal'd have my head."

"Oh..." Simon looked even more worried.

"If you don't want this, you have ta say 'no'," Jayne wondered if that had been the right thing to say, at least until it seemed that Simon relaxed a little.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Simon asked, frowning.

"Depends on what ya think A'm saying," Jayne drawled, tilting his head to brush his lips over Simon's, feeling the other man still completely. He felt Simon's breath burst over his lips.

"Is this another one of your pranks?" Simon asked, steel flashing in his voice.

Oooh. Jayne felt that voice all the way down into his boots. Who'd have thought the Doc had it in him... Jayne took Simon's hand and guided it up along the inside of his thigh. There was very little resistance on the good Doctor's part.

He dug his fingers into Simon's hips, lifting him up to sit on the counter. Cupping the hand against the crotch of his trousers, Jayne licked at Simon's lower lip, feeling the hot burst of breath against his face again. "Does that feel like a 'prank' to you?" he growled.

Simon's hand tightened over the bulge, causing Jayne to gasp. "If it is, it's a damned good one," Simon mumbled before shifting his body to allow Jayne to stand between his legs.

Jayne couldn't help the grin when Simon cursed under his breath while trying to get the tank top off him. "Easy, kid. Don't strain yerself."

Simon stopped what he was doing and turned dark eyes on Jayne, baring his teeth. "I'm not a kid, Jayne... I know what I'm doing."

Jayne held up his hands. "Okay, okay, cool yer jets." Shaking his head, he pulled the tank top up over his head, then grinned and grabbed the collar of Simon's shirt, tearing it open, buttons flying in all directions.

"I hope you know how to sew buttons back on," Simon growled, fingers dancing over Jayne's chest, sides, abs, any piece of bare skin he could get at. "Kwong-run..." he muttered before pulling Jayne in, trying to eat him alive.

"Huh?" Jayne wasn't having any luck putting two sentient thoughts together. All he could think about was the warm body moving against his, Simon's legs wrapped around his hips... The mouth...

Simon pulled back, heavy-lidded eyes watching Jayne with a certain amount of amusement. "Am I to believe that your pranks and rude behavior have been a sort of... courtship?"

"Mmmm," Jayne swayed forward, trying to shut him up. He didn't want to try and talk... especially not right now.

"Jayne!" Simon's voice turned a little harder. It still did some pretty fantastic things to Jayne's libido.

"I couldn't stand you when you got aboard," Jayne muttered, digging his fingers into Simon's hips, pulling him hard forward. "But you stood up to me," he admitted.

Simon gasped and his eyes lost focus for a moment. "You're insane," he laughed. "I doped you up, was so rude my mother would spank me for saying what I've said to you..." Simon's laughter turned a little hysterical. "And you saw it as an invitation to this?!"

Jayne gave him a wide grin, leaned in again and caught that always tilted mouth in a deep kiss. "Yeah... what of it?" he asked gravely when they parted again, both panting for air.

Simon chuckled weakly. "You are insane. And... I thought you said you never kissed..." Simon's eyes drifted shut.

Jayne shrugged. "I never kiss one-night stands," he admitted.

"Oh..." Simon's eyes flew open. "Oh!"

"For the top three percent of your class, you're not too smart, are ye?" Jayne grinned as he rocked lightly forward.

"I..." Simon licked his lips again. His fingers dug into Jayne's shoulders, pulling him closer. "I swear, I have my moments... occasionally."

"Oh, I'd say," Jayne drawled, rocking a little harder, a little faster. The feel of Simon's heels digging into the backs of his thighs made him grin even more.

Simon breathed heavily into Jayne's ear and Jayne slipped his arms around Simon's waist, holding him close and hard. It took very little time before Simon shuddered against him, moaning deep in his throat.

Jayne bit lightly into the tendon between shoulder and neck, letting himself go with a few more thrusts. Oh well, tomorrow was laundry day, anyway.

It was amazing to feel the tension flowing out of the body slumped against him. "Better now?" he whispered. He sure felt better.


Jayne snorted. Okay, he didn't mind resting a bit, but the infirmary probably wasn't the best place for it. Squatting a little, he pulled Simon up over his shoulder.

"Hey!" Simon exclaimed, squirming in Jayne's hold.

"Ease up, brat. I'm gonna find us a bed to crash on." Humming to himself, Jayne made his way out of the infirmary. "Then we do this again, just without the clothes."

Yup, as always Jayne was a man with a plan.

"Lao tyen yeh!"

Jayne turned his head and Simon groaned. "Hey, Wash," Jayne greeted with a satisfied grin.

"I didn't need to know this," Wash muttered as he hurried by, heading for his and Zoe's quarters, shaking his head and muttering under his breath.

Jayne chuckled and opened the hatch to his own room. Setting Simon back on his feet, he watched the flushed man. Not a bad look on him.

"If you ever do that again," Simon warned him, "I can promise you, you'll be begging me to trank you."

Jayne bared his teeth at him, but had trouble not laughing. "You say that like it's a bad thing, Doc." He pointed toward the ladder.

Simon narrowed his eyes at him. "You first. I'm not sure I trust you behind me at the moment."

Jayne did a double take, then laughed out loud. "You just keep dishing it out, kid, we'll see who comes out on top."

Dahng rahn - of course
go-se - crap
kwong-run - lunatic
Lao tyen yeh - my god!

The End