Let's Talk about Sex, Baby...
...Let's talk about You and Me
Co-written with nora_charles

PAIRING: Fraser/Kowalski
SUMMARY: Ray and Fraser talk about sex.
NOTES: Written for the refusal challenge on ds_flashfiction.

Ray turned to Fraser. "Tell me about the best sex you've ever had, Fraser."

Fraser turned his head from watching the TV and stared at him for a moment. "I beg your pardon?!"

"Come on, buddy. The hawks have obviously gone overboard with the valium tonight. Entertain me." He discretely switched the bottle to his left hand and wiped his damp palm on his pants leg.

For a second or two it looked as if Fraser was simply frozen in place, then he slowly shook his head. "I'm sorry, Ray, but that is a very personal question, and although I do consider you a very close friend, I would prefer to not have such a conversation - with you or anyone for that matter."

"Okay, I'll go first. If we're talking intense-best and not like best-best or quality-best, I'd hafta say my first time with the Stella, but honestly according to our great leader that was not technically sex. Maybe I should go with the first time I tried something really out there, just for the heck of it, not because I was in love with the person, just because I thought it would be hot."

Fraser looked a little shell-shocked and he opened his mouth to say something several times, but didn't manage a word. Finally he managed a short and barely audible "Ah...."

Ray's legs tried to jitter away from him without any input from his brain, and his eyes kept jerking up to the far left corner of the ceiling. Huh, he'd have to bust out the vacuum and get that spider. With a conscious effort he managed to sit still and look at Fraser in a nearly sane and normal way. "So, uh, the first time I had sex with a guy I went to this gay bar my upstairs neighbor told me about." He couldn't maintain eye contact and pretended to be very involved in slowly peeling the label off his beer.

Fraser still struggled with finding his voice but eventually he got out a rather strangled "I see, but Ray... are you sure...."

Ray looked Fraser dead in the eye. "Yes, Fraser. I'm sure. So I went to this gay bar. And I figured sex is just sex, you know. It's just two people or you know, three whatever, if you swing that way, it's just people having a good time together, it's just about intimacy and having fun with someone you like. The equipment don't matter. So I went there, went up to the bar and ordered a beer. And a guy comes up to me and we get to talking. He likes hockey too, you know? Just a nice guy. So I just invite him back here to meet my turtle."

Fraser was still staring at him, although he looked like he'd have liked to turn away, if for nothing else than to hide the color rising to his face. However, it seemed he couldn't help himself, as if he was watching a train wreck about to happen.

Ray sure felt like a train wreck in progress. He had a nasty feeling he'd either have to shit or get off the pot. Damn the Blackhawks for playing like geriatric pond skaters or whatever those big ass water mosquitoes were called! Damn them to the iciest reaches of hell! "Fraser," he said and then couldn't think of anything more to add.

"I..." Fraser began, then stopped with the most peculiar look on his face. He kept shooting glances over Ray's shoulder, looking more than a little panicked. "I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to do by telling me this," he finally managed to get out, looking stiffly at some point behind Ray.

Ray felt the clammy fingers of embarrassed gone-too-far-to-take-it-back desperation tickling down his spine. Fraser looked as if he was getting ready to suddenly discover a wildly bizarre crime in progress in Ray's kitchen, involving a penguin and a walrus tusk attached to a cherry picker and the accompanying need to arrest the evil doers and in no way continue this hugely awkward conversation. He had to move fast.

Fraser coughed and finally turned his head to the side, no longer staring at whatever had been so interesting behind Ray's back. He kept fidgeting and looking as if he wanted to say something to Ray, but couldn't quite find the right words or possibly, the right language.

"Spit it out, Fraser. I'm trying to ask you something here. Are you with me or do I have to get complicit?"

Fraser frowned. "Complicit? Ray, have you done something that has put you on the wrong side of the law? Is that what you're trying to tell me? I did not think being an active homosexual was actually illegal in the state of Illinois. Then again, I do sometimes have trouble keeping up with the narrow-mindedness of American legislation."

"Told ya, Frase, the old laws are the best laws," Ray said with a wink. When Fraser started with the passive aggressive Yankee put downs, he knew he was getting to him. "What I meant, smart ass, is..." he said and leaned forward and grabbed the end of the velcro flap closing Fraser's collar. "Do I have to", he paused, and pulled the velcro open, continuing to the row of buttons, "go into all the kinky details". He only spilled a little of the beer he was still holding in Fraser's lap.

Fraser swallowed hard, eyes wide and not for a second leaving Ray's and for once it seemed Ray did have his undivided attention. He didn't even bitch about the beer on the pumpkin pants or the fact that Ray obviously had designs on his virtue. Either that, or knowing Fraser he'd think Ray had an unhealthy interest in the uniform. Which he did, but only when Fraser was in it.

"I just want to be perfectly clear here, Fraser. I told you an untruth. A lie. A fib. A wind-up. I wanna get horizontal with ya, capiche? I was just testing the waters, to see if you were able and mean." He dropped the bottle to the floor, and continued with the unbuttoning.

Fraser finally found some of his motor skills and lifted his hand. For a second, Ray thought he was gonna hit him, but the oh so focused and flushed look on Fraser's face told another story. The hand ended up on Ray's thigh, and Fraser broke eye contact for a moment, looking down at it as if he was as surprised as Ray as to how it had ended up there.

"You know, buddy. You don't have to tell me about your greatest sexual experience anyway. I think I'm going to be here to witness it."

The End