Standard Procedure
PAIRING: Fraser/Kowalski
SUMMARY: Prompt: Fraser comes clean about the Buddy Breathing incident.
NOTES: Done for the getfraserlaid challenge
THANKS TO: nicci_mac and audaxfemina for picking out my bad habits.
SPECIAL THANKS TO: To my friendslist on LJ who willingly took part in this exercise. I requested keywords and/or prompts for this (see below story for list of people who helped)

It was driving Ray crazy.

Not that he wasn't used to dangling from the edge of sanity, 'cause he was. No one stayed sane around Fraser.

No, what was really getting to him now, had been festering for a while. Ever since that damned pirate ship thing.

It had been a weird case anyway, but one little incident had Ray's rubber duck in a twist.

Ray had checked encyclopedias and online websites (and hadn't that been fun, with the computer acting like it was going to explode. Ray hated those vile things). He'd even gotten his hands on a copy of the RCMP handbook.

He'd had to bribe Turnbull with cheese and promise him his first born if anything happened to the book while in Ray's hands.

Nothing. Nada... not one damned thing about ... that thing Fraser had done to him on the ship.

'Buddy breathing my ass!' Ray thought to himself as he sat back on his couch.

Closing his eyes, Ray nodded off. He was going out of his mind. Hell, even his nights were disturbed by it. His dreams hadn't been the same since that day. Sure, he'd had wet dreams before, but they never...

Ray blinked and looked around him. The living room was gone. Instead he was standing inside a wooden cabin, sparsely furnished but with a roaring fire off to the side.

Ray rubbed his eyes and blinked again. The place stayed the same. He did a 360 degree turn, and when he came back around, someone was sitting in the high-back chair by the fire.

"Um..." Ray said.

The guy, old and grey, raised an eyebrow. "Don't just stand there like some idiot, Yank," he scolded and pointed toward the other chair that hadn't been there a moment before. "Sit down."

"Yes, sir," Ray heard himself reply. He didn't like the way this guy's demand had triggered the same damned thing as Ray's old drill sergeant used to.

Still, he sat down.

"That's better," the guy said, lips curving into a smile that kinda reminded Ray of someone.

"Where am I?" Ray finally managed to ask. "And who the hell are you?"

That brought him a rather disapproving look. Ray could almost hear Fraser's voice in the back of his head going 'language, Ray!'

"You are in my cabin," was the answer. "And my name is Robert Fraser... You can call me Bob, though," the guy said.

"Fraser?" Ray muttered. What the hell?

"I believe you know my son," Bob sniffed. "Perhaps even a little too well."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ray bristled.

"Considering the thoughts you have been harboring about my son for the last few months, I think that's a fair interpretation," Bob explained.

"Hey!" Ray said. "Those are my thoughts, grandpa, stay out of 'em." Ray snorted. "Besides, you're dead. Shouldn't you be going off somewhere, to the great beyond or something?"

Bob looked a little put out. "I happen to worry about my son..." he began.

"'s a bit too late, ain't it?" Ray said scornfully. Something about this guy gave him the creeps and made him want to get under his skin.

Bob looked like someone had rammed a pole up his ass... then he crumbled and across from Ray sat an old man who reminded Ray of someone whose pemmican had been taken away and who'd been told he could never have any again.

"That... look, son," Bob said tiredly. "I never wanted to coddle my son..."

Ray snorted. "Oh, you did a fan-fucking-tastic job there."

"I did things with him that fathers do," Bob defended himself.

"Like what?" Ray asked.

"I took him fishing..."

"Once!" Ray replied.

Bob looked at him with surprise. "You know that?"

Ray sat back and shrugged. "Frase doesn't talk much about himself, but if you know how to listen, you can pick the important stuff out of the babble."

Bob gave him a long, searching look.

"Oh, hey," Ray suddenly said. This was his chance. "You were a Mountie too, right?"

"I most certainly was," Bob said, looking as if he grew an inch or two.

Freak, Ray thought to himself, but he continued. "There is this thing that Frase did for me, that he claimed was standard procedure."

"Yes?" Bob said, looking a little wary.

"He um..." Ray coughed. "I was kinda drowning and he..."

"Ah," Bob said and Ray just knew where Fraser had that annoying habit from.

"'Ah' what?" Ray asked suspiciously.

"I believe you are referring to 'buddy breathing', which is derived from a traditional Inuit method of impersonating fish..." Bob had a dreamy look on his face.

Ray did not want to know what that was about so he held up a hand when Bob opened his mouth to say more. "So it is standard procedure?"

"Not as such," Bob said, taking a sip of the tea he hadn't been holding a moment ago. Ray had stopped wondering.


"It isn't something they teach at Depot, but if you're in a pinch it is a rather useful thing to know..." Bob eyed him thoughtfully. "Don't you agree, Detective?"

Ray sighed. He wanted out of this dream some time soon.

"Well, you best be going," Bob said, putting his tea aside. "I have a graduate seminar to attend." He shuddered at the thought. "I would have preferred to do it as a correspondence course, but alas, the others..."

Ray closed his eyes and ignored the dead guy for a moment. Because dead guys and seminars... nuh-uh.

A fuzzy feeling filled Ray's head and he wondered if he was about to wake up. "Hey!" he said, opening his eyes, looking over at the dead Mountie who was standing by the door now, dressing up in some huge, furry parka.

"Yes?" Bob replied.

"Is it standard to slip someone the tongue when doing buddy breathing?" Ray asked curiously.

Bob never answered, he just had a really funky, weird look on his face. Then he muttered something about having a father-to-son talk and everything just faded around Ray.

Waking up? Nope. The world around Ray returned in the shape of another cabin. Not all that different from the one he'd just left, though this one had more furniture, was bigger and with a fireplace in the middle of the room, built into the wall separating the living room from the bedroom.

It was nice and warm all around and Ray took his time to look. The living room had a small kitchenette off to the side, a large couch and a really nice stereo that looked awfully familiar to Ray and... Ray stopped and took a second look.

Shaking his head slowly, he went into the bedroom. The bed was big and looked so comfy. Ray sat down on it, looking at the small table nearest him. He was pretty sure those were his glasses... and there was a dog eared Ringworld magazine underneath them.

A piece of paper underneath the magazine caught his eye. It was a short description on a workshop at the local community center. Added was the note: Wednesday 7 o'clock.

In Fraser's handwriting.

Another quick look and Ray noticed the nicely folded clothes on the chair next to the bed.

With a shaking hand he reached out and pulled over the top piece. A washed out old t-shirt with the RCMP logo that Ray had no trouble recognizing. He'd seen Fraser wearing it those times that the Mountie had agreed to stay the night on Ray's couch due to late work or stakeouts...

Ray rubbed his face against it before he could stop himself. It even smelled lightly of Fraser's aftershave.

Coughing and feeling his face flush, Ray forced himself to drop the shirt on the bed.

He wasn't really dreaming this, sniffing Fraser's sleepwear...

Oh, wait. Ray suddenly grinned. If this was a dream, no one could hold him responsible for... Ray snatched the shirt back up and took a deep breath through the soft cotton.

"This is insane," Ray muttered to himself as he lay back on the bed, leaving the t-shirt to cover his flushed face.

Ray rubbed his chest through his t-shirt and took a deep breath. He wasn't sure what to think about this crazy ass scenario his subconsciousness had dredged up from out of nowhere.

Then again, he couldn't really complain.

Somewhere, someone was knocking rather insistently, but Ray couldn't bring himself to care. His hand slipped a little lower and he rubbed the heel of his hand over the tight denim of his crotch.

For a moment the knocking continued, a little louder, then it subsided.

Ray slowly woke up, feeling slightly fuzzy. His body was still thrumming with arousal and his jeans were uncomfortably tight. Something was covering his face and it smelled like...

"Ray, Ray, Ray..."

"Huh?" Ray grunted, pulling what turned out to be a t-shirt off his face. He blinked once, blinked twice... then rubbed his eyes.

In the doorway he found Fraser staring at him, eyes wide, lips glistening and a look of fear in his eyes.

The look disappeared almost so fast that Ray wasn't sure he'd seen it.

"Um... Frase?" Okay, so Ray wasn't the most articulate guy around, especially not when he was caught after napping, having a nice, wet dream while breathing through...

Ray's eyes flickered to the t-shirt he'd dumped on the floor. The print on the front was half hidden by a fold, but clearly showing the R and the M. How the hell...?

Fraser's eyes followed his and Ray could see the flush spread from his neck to the tips of his ears.


Ray coughed. "You're gonna wear out my name some day," he tried to joke, but he was a little unsettled that his voice sounded more husky than light.

Fraser looked like he was having a hard time breathing. Ray sat up on the couch and Fraser took a few quick steps forward, determination almost tangible.

"Ray, I'm sorry if I'm out of line, but..." Fraser said, kneeling in front of Ray, crowding him.

"Oh..." Ray said and that was about all he got out before Fraser's lips covered his.

I'm still dreaming, Ray thought almost hysterically to himself. I'm not awake and Fraser's not...

Ray yelped and jerked when a warm hand covered his crotch.

Fraser froze against him and Ray closed his eyes. Fuck, he hadn't come in his pants since high school.

Ray broke the kiss and hid his feverish face against Fraser's shoulder. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I can't believe I... I mean. I'm not...." Ray swallowed hard. He had a strange mixture of flavors in his mouth at the moment. There was an aftertaste of garlic from the pizza he'd eaten earlier, and he wasn't sure if Fraser had liked the taste, because he wasn't trying to kiss Ray anymore and maybe he should go brush his teeth, use mouthwash, maybe...

"Ray, you're blithering," Fraser said against his hair.

Ray wondered if he'd said the last stuff out loud too. Then he realized that Fraser's hand was still...

"I... I have a confession to make," Fraser mumbled and wrapped an arm around Ray's back so he couldn't lean back and look at him.

Ray didn't reply, just nodded. He was still a little confused. How had he gotten from talking to a dead Mountie, to dreaming of a cozy life with Fraser to waking up and coming his brains out while kissing the guy?

"I had a visit from my da...," Fraser sighed. "Never mind. I wish to speak about the incident aboard the Henry Allen," he said and Ray could feel the flushed skin get even warmer where his cheek was resting against Fraser's neck.

"Frase, you don't have to..."

"Yes, I believe I do, Ray... although buddy breathing is derived from a traditional Inuit..."

Ray snorted and he felt Fraser go quiet and still against him. "Seriously, Fraser. If you are about to say a traditional Inuit method of impersonating fish, I'm gonna kick you in the head."

Fraser finally pulled back, looking at Ray with surprise on his face.

"I mean," Ray said softly, "if you were gonna make it look authentic, I think slipping me the tongue might've been the wrong thing to do."

Fraser didn't say anything, he just stared at Ray.

"So?" Ray said when the silence got a little too thick.

Fraser swallowed visibly and he drew in a hard breath. "I should have told you earlier," he admitted. "I was weak and I thought maybe neither of us would survive the ordeal..."

Ray shook his head. "It's okay, Frase. It's more than okay." And it was. Ray was surprised that he didn't even feel annoyed. "I'm pretty sure if you'd come clean earlier I wouldn't have accepted it."

"Ah..." Fraser said.

"Yeah, ah," Ray snorted. Taking a chance, he leaned in and brushed his lips over Fraser's.

Fraser made an odd noise and when Ray pulled back a little, he followed. This time the kiss didn't feel as desperate as the first one. Sweet and slow and... Ray closed his eyes again, just letting Fraser drive for a bit. Not that he wasn't doing his best to encourage the kissing.

The warm hand in his lap slid up under Ray's t-shirt and Ray sighed as he leaned back slowly, pulling Fraser up on top of him.

Whoa. Heavy. That was all Ray could think before Fraser went to town on him, tongue thrusting into his mouth. It wasn't sweet anymore, it was demanding, hot, wet and lewd.

Ray wouldn't have thought he could get hard again that fast, but he could feel his own erection grounding up against Fraser's.

"Clothes," Ray muttered when Fraser finally let go of his mouth.

"Yes," Fraser breathed, barely audible. A moment later Ray was missing his t-shirt -- and his jeans and boxers were shoved halfway down his legs. It felt so good to get rid of the cooling, sticky feeling.

It was difficult to think straight, but Ray managed to cover Fraser's mouth with his hand before he could dive in for another kiss. "You too, you freak," he laughed.

Fraser's eyes were dark with arousal and Ray could see how slow the thought process went, but finally Fraser grinned, his face more beautiful than Ray had ever seen before.

"Of course, Ray. I don't know where my manners are."

Ray slid a hand down and cupped the bulge in Fraser's jeans. "I think I know," he said with a wink.

Fraser's chuckle went from light to dark and husky and Ray felt shivers running through his body. Oh wow.

One foot on the floor and a knee on the other side of Ray's thighs, Fraser stripped off his own shirt and t-shirt and undershirt.

Ray rolled his eyes. Damned, the guy really was wearing too many clothes. Tugging at the waistband of Fraser's jeans, Ray made an impatient noise.

It didn't sound half as impatient as the one that escaped Fraser as he slid off Ray to stand next to the couch.

Ray took a moment to kick his own jeans down and out of the way. He turned his head and his eyes widened. Okay, one thing was thinking about it, but...

Before he could panic, Fraser was back on top of him and oddly enough, it was easier for Ray to handle when he wasn't staring right at the prime Canadian package.

"Ray?" Fraser's voice was low and Ray realized that he wasn't the only one who was nervous.

"Yeah," Ray whispered, hooking a hand behind Fraser's head, pulling him down for a kiss.

Slip and slide, slip and slide and Ray cursed the fact that his couch was really too narrow for two fully grown men having sex on it. He twisted a little and managed to pull his legs up, one on either side of Fraser's hips. A little lift of the hips and...

Ray's groan mixed with Fraser's as their cocks aligned. The heat between them grew and Ray lost track of time. Fraser's thrusts came harder and faster and Ray dug his fingers into Fraser's shoulders.

Fraser reached his arms over Ray's head and held onto the armrest of the couch. The thrusts were so hard now that Ray couldn't help but wonder what it might feel like if Fraser had been inside of him.

That was it, that was all he had to think about and Ray realized a split second too late that he wasn't going to be able to hold it much longer. Wet heat spread between them and Ray groaned, trying to drown the noise by biting into Fraser's shoulder.

A wild noise escaped Fraser and the next thrusts made Ray feel like his skeleton was rattling apart. Not that he cared, he was way too far gone as it were.

Fraser's body shook and he groaned as he moved erratically against Ray, pounding him into the couch. Ray tightened his hold on Fraser, wrapping his legs around his hips and just held on.

A low mewl was all that escaped Fraser when he finally lost it, but Ray figured he'd never heard anything as hot as that before. Fraser finally collapsed on top of him and his breath was warm and quick against Ray's neck.

"Jeez, Frase," Ray mumbled. "That was..."

Fraser just nodded, not moving his head from its resting place.

Ray fought the cramp developing in his right thigh. He didn't want to move out of the heavy embrace. He sniffed a little.

"Hey, Frase... we need a shower," he mumbled.

Fraser just nodded again.

"Wanna come teach me buddy breathing?" Ray teased. He'd damned well earned the right to be smug. Hello, just look at what was pinning him to his couch!

A breathless chuckle sent shivers down Ray's spine.

"I would be delighted to," Fraser admitted.

"Oh, Frase..." Ray sighed. "You do know the buddy breathing thing was buddies, the saving part of it."

Another nod.

"Slipping me the tongue and then saying it was standard procedure was not."

Fraser laughed a little. "I'm so very sorry, Ray."

Ray grinned stupidly at the ceiling. "You can make it up to me, though," he said mischievously, thrusting his hips upwards. Not that he would be able to get it up anytime soon, but he just wanted to make sure that Fraser couldn't mistake his intentions.

"You save a Ray, and you pay and pay and pay..." Fraser mumbled against his neck, before biting lightly into it.

"Oy, that ain't buddies either," Ray yelped, although he didn't say what he thought it was. This was way beyond buddies. Buddies was sharing pizza and hockey, poking fun at each other... This was so much more...

Ray yawned. "Where's the fur-face, by the way?" he asked as he squirmed underneath his human blanket.

"I..." Fraser said, lifting his head and looking at Ray with a soft expression. "I was hoping for something like this to happen and if Dief were to witness me lose control like I have tonight, I would never hear the end of it."

Ray laughed. "You are so whipped," he muttered, touching Fraser's cheek and guiding his head down for a soft kiss.

Fraser growled against his lips but spoiled it by chuckling a moment later. "Shower?" he finally asked.

"In a minute," Ray muttered sleepily. Fraser'd eventually get too heavy for comfort, but until then, Ray was damned well gonna enjoy it.

The End