Magical, bottomless pockets of Doom
The Idle Hands Remix

Pairing: Fraser/RayK
Category: First time, challenge
Rating: R
Summary: There's a lot of room in those pants... eh, pockets.
Thanks to:eledhwenlin for her fab beta work.
Notes: Written for the remix_redux 2007.
I was assigned minnow1212 and chose her story '5 things Fraser keeps in his pockets'.

Ray drummed his fingers on the steering wheel again. Then he bounced his knee up and down a little. At least as much as he could. He loved the goat, but he hated being stuck in the car during stakeout. Hours and hours and...

Sitting next to Fraser only made him want to move around even more.

Fraser shot him an exasperated look and Ray stilled - for a little while.

Two minutes tops, then he was at it again. Worst thing was, he knew he was doing it, but it was completely and utterly impossible for him to stop himself.

An almost-sigh had Ray turning his head. For a moment he wondered who'd sighed, Fraser or the wolf? Ray noticed Dief was conked out on the backseat and deducted, like the detective he was, that it'd come from Fraser.

"Sorry, Frase," Ray said, a little defensively. "I'm..."

"Impatient," Fraser finished for him, turning his head and Ray could see the shadow of a small smile in the dim light from the streetlights outside.

Ray shrugged, but answered the smile. "Yeah, you know how I am."

Fraser nodded, then twisted a little in his seat, pulling something out of his pocket. "I received this from a clerk in the convenience store yesterday," he said, holding out something that dangled from a short metal chain.

Keychain, Ray realized. He took it and squinted at it, then laughed. "How'd you know?" he asked.

Fraser cracked his neck and looked straight ahead. "I could not be entirely sure that you would like one, but seeing as you seem to like keeping your... fingers occupied when you are kept from moving around physically..."

"I haven't seen one of these in years," Ray grinned as he rolled the miniature Rubik's cube in his hand. "Good idea, Frase," he sighed, "if there'd been enough light in here for me to use it."

"Ah," was all Fraser said.

Ray shrugged and handed it back. "Hang on to it, though," he said with a wink. "You never know when you might need to inco... incapo... incapacitate me." He held onto the chain for a moment, while Fraser's fingers were wrapped around the cube, then he go of it.

Silently they went back to watching the house across the street. If anyone asked Ray, which of course no one did, he could've told them it was a waste of time. Sanchez wasn't home and if he had any brain at all, he wouldn't be coming back here.

Ray caught himself tapping the steering wheel again. Annoyed with himself, he sat back in his seat, gnawing on the edge of a nail.

Another soundless sigh seemed to escape Fraser and Ray just knew he was in for a lecture on how he shouldn't...

Looking down, he stared at yet another offering.


"Yes, Ray?" Fraser's voice was completely even and so much in control that Ray wondered if he should be pissed that Fraser was laughing at him. Somewhere behind that stoic facade...

"Is that what I think it is?"

"If you think it is a biscuit, Ray," Fraser said lightly, "then you would be right."

"It looks a great deal like a dog biscuit," Ray hazarded.

There was an enquiring sound from the backseat and this time a more audible sigh from Fraser. "No, Diefenbaker, there are no dogs around here at the moment. Ray was referring to a 'dog biscuit'."

Dief grumbled something and went back to sleep.

"Fraser, you're trying to feed me a dog biscuit..." Ray said with a sigh. "I'm no dog."

"I ah..."

"Just because you go around putting disgusting things into your mouth," Ray teased, "doesn't mean I do the same."

"I thought perhaps you could occupy yourself with chewing on said biscuit," Fraser said, this time a little prissy by the sound of it.

Fraser made to put it away again, but Ray quickly snatched it from his hand. "Hey, I know, I shouldn't knock it till I tried it," he said, knowing that Fraser would forgive him quickly.

Returning his attention to the house, Fraser smiled. Ray was pretty sure that had been a smile, anyway. It was hard to tell with the lack of light.

Ray took a bite of the biscuit. Not bad, really. And yeah, Fraser was right, as long as he was chewing on this, he could sit still. At least he could try to.

A little while later, Ray was back to tucking at his fingernails and of course Fraser caught the wince.

This time, at least, he didn't say anything, he just rummaged in his bottomless pockets and drew out a small jar that Ray just knew would stink to high heavens and it would have contents that Ray would never ever want to know about.

"Nuh-uh," Ray muttered. "I'm not using that stinky stuff."

"Now, Ray." Fraser turned a little in his seat. "Even a hangnail can get infected if left untended."

"I'll tend to it when I get home, Frase," Ray sighed. "With proper artificial stuff. Non stinky stuff."

"Really, Ray..."

"If you say that I'm childish, I'm gonna pop you one," Ray warned, trying not to laugh. These friendly arguments were part of a stakeout deal. It kept them both awake and it was nothing but friendly jibes.

"Half an hour left," Ray said with a yawn. "Half an hour and we're outta here."

"Patience, Ray," Fraser said quietly. "Granted, I doubt that Mr. Sanchez is coming back here, but we're serving as a..."

Ray cut him off with a wave of the hand. "Save it," he said, trying not to yawn again. "Even the wolf's gotten tired of sitting in here."

"Ah, yes," Fraser said. "I did warn him that it would be very tedious, but he would not listen."

"As he rarely does," Ray said with a laugh. "Where's he now?"

Fraser nodded ahead of the car. At first Ray couldn't see anything but some dark door- and alleyways, then he caught the slightly paler shadow. "Well, can't say he isn't pulling his part of the watch," Ray said.

Fraser just nodded and stayed quiet.

Thankfully it would be over soon, Ray thought to himself. A couple more nights like this one and he would go insane. One thing was working with Fraser every day, hanging out sometimes as well, during their time off work. It was just hard for Ray to not think about his attractive partner in some more-than-friendly terms when they were forced to be this close for as long as they were.

It was like a constant low-key ...fizzle, sizzle, whatever.

A few more minutes of silence and Ray was back to jiggling his leg. He found it maddening to be forced to sit still like this. He preferred kicking in doors or windows instead of just... doing nothing but watching.

Fraser's hand landed, heavy and warm, on Ray's knee.

Ray stilled, looking down at the hand. He turned his head and gave Fraser a rather puzzled look. He was not going to get all hot and bothered, but he hoped Fraser wouldn't look down and see just what that touch was doing to Ray.

A shiver ran up Ray's spine and it had nothing to do with the cool night air coming through the slightly open car window.


"Jeez, that's a loaded question," Ray gasped as Fraser's fingers tightened a little, tips rubbing along the inseam of Ray's jeans. He was not noticing how Fraser's nostrils seemed to be flaring.

He could ignore that, but the hand inching its way up his thigh?

Tension rushed through his body, like all this time he'd been holding back, all his barriers and will-power seemingly vanished in the blink of an eye. Ray's body shook as he climaxed and he arched up in his seat, painfully hitting the steering wheel in the process.

Slumping back into the seat, Ray panted, his head tilted back against the top of the seat. That had been... fast and unsuspected. He could still feel Fraser's hand on his knee and see the stars on the back of his closed eyelids.

"Now I'm embarrassed," Ray croaked when he finally opened his eyes. As always his mouth was way faster at recuperating than his brain was.

Fraser cleared his throat and when Ray finally found enough motor-control to turn his head, he found his partner all but glowing red in the dark.

"Guess I wasn't the only one, huh?" Ray asked, breathing deeply to get some much needed oxygen to his brain.

"You... might put it that way," Fraser finally admitted, rather sheepishly. He still hadn't removed his hand, though. Ray chose to view that as a good thing.

Ray squirmed a little. The sticky mess in his boxers was already cooling and it was getting damned uncomfortable.

Wordlessly, Fraser dug his free hand into a pocket and handed his clean, white handkerchief over to Ray.

Face red, Ray unzipped his jeans, stuck his hand with handkerchief down and cleaned as much of the cooling goop off as he could reach. Without thinking about it, he handed it back to Fraser as he did his jeans back up.

This time Fraser's nostrils definitely flared, all the while he folded the handkerchief up, undid the pumpkin pants and...

Ray closed his eyes. He should not be capable of getting it up this soon.

Fraser cleared his throat.

Opening his eyes, Ray took a deep breath. Oh yeah, it definitely smelled... a little ripe in the car now.

"You wouldn't happen to have some air freshener in those pockets of yours, would you?" he asked conversationally. He refused to freak out over what had just happened. He was feeling too damned good to do so.

"Ah... No, Ray, I'm afraid all I have left in my pocket is some..." Fraser trailed off.

"Some what?" Ray asked curiously.

"I do have some beef jerky," he admitted.

"Do I wanna know why..." Ray stopped his own question. "I always do get the munchies after um... well, technically that wasn't sex sex, but..."

Fraser moved about a little and handed a sealed zip-lock bag over to Ray.

Ray took it and sat back in his seat, counting the minutes until their shift was over, while munching on some surprisingly tasty jerky.

"You and Dief got anything planned for the weekend?" Ray asked, as casually as he could.

"Some walking, perhaps," Fraser offered neutrally.

"Would you be open to a few additions to those plans?" Ray asked with a grin.

"If it would involve your company... then I would be glad to hear your suggestions," Fraser answered, fighting a small grin.

"Say, you guys come home with me when we get relieved from here, we sleep in, get a good, filling breakfast or lunch and then we go for a walk?" Ray bit his lower lip, hoping he wasn't asking for too much. Spending the night... it was a bit of a biggie.

"It does sound like a properly planned day," Fraser agreed, this time the grin spread unguardedly on his face.

Ray felt his own lips stretching into a huge smile. Looking at his watch, he nodded toward the statue-like shape of Dief. "Better get fur-face in here. We should be off the hook in five minutes or so."

"I think perhaps we should air out the car a little," Fraser said with a sigh.

"You think he won't catch it anyway?" Ray asked with amusement.

"Well, I am sure he will let me know in no small terms that I have been a little slow at getting to this point in our relationship," Fraser agreed with a heartfelt sigh.

"The wolf been giving you a hard time?" Ray asked curiously. Wasn't like anything involving those two actually surprised him anymore. "We're not wolves, these things take time," Ray argued.

"Well, you can be the one to explain that to him, then," Fraser said with a quirk to his mouth. "He seeming stopped listening to me a long time ago."

Ray tried not to laugh. So now he had a partner-partner who came with a cheeky half-wolf. Really it wouldn't change all that much, Ray realized. Sure, he and Fraser would be starting a new chapter of their relationship, but the cheeky half-wolf was a strange constant.

The future sure did look a lot brighter these days.

The End